Pestana Grand Premium Ocean Resort♡

Very disappointing and no way a 5 Star Hotel

2.0

Just returned from 10 days staying at The Pestana Grand Hotel with my Husband. The room was clean and spacious, great location backing onto the promenade along the sea front. Takes about 50 minutes to walk into Funchal. But the Food, Water cost and Service charge really lets this hotel down. It’s not a 5 star Hotel, more 2-3 star at best. You have to pay for Water regardless at 4.50 euros for 500ml, Just shocking. Added to this and everything you purchase in Food and Beverage has a standard service change of 12% on top of the cost. We booked Full board. The Breakfast options were very poor, No healthy cereal or plain yogurt options. Hot food very basic with long queues in a small hot plate area. The coffee was like bitter sludge, as its a powder based form and preserves came in a pump machine format (which was sugary liquid). Dinner selection was extremely poor, with lukewarm options and again lots of queuing. We ended up eating out every evening as it was very poor quality.

5 Stars on Paper, 3 Stars in Reality

2.0

5-Star Hotel in Madeira — A Major Disappointment Paying for water at dinner in a 5-star hotel is simply absurd. Every glass comes with a receipt, a signature, and a queue. Breakfast is technically included, but the quality matches a 2–3 star property at best. Dinner selection is extremely poor. The menu only changes twice a week. Everything is served as pre-mixed salads with no fresh, individual ingredients. Vegetables are virtually non-existent — no cucumbers, no tomatoes. When you ask the staff, the answer is always the same: "We've run out." Dessert table is large in quantity but zero in quality — the same puddings and colourful jellies day after day. Breakfast is a disaster. Service runs 7:30–11:00, yet by 9am there are no plates and no cups. No vegetables whatsoever. No Nutella for kids. Same story with cheeses and bread rolls — empty tables surrounded by crowds of guests. The egg station has a queue of up to 15 minutes. The hotel has clearly not been renovated in at least 15 years. Walls and carpets are visibly worn and in need of replacement. The pillows feel like they haven't been changed in decades — not soft at all, just lumps of hardened filling. Upon arrival, the overall feeling was closer to an old care home than a 5-star resort. Madeira itself is beautiful — this hotel simply has no right to call itself five stars.

Lovely hotel let down by its food and resturant

6.0

I stayed at the Pestana Grand with my husband for 7 nights in late March. The hotel is advertised as 5* and it is very comfortable with many good features. But it is let down by its restaurant and food. Breakfast was fine, except there was no bacon in the hot food section. Turns out you have to ask for it at the omelette counter. The dinner buffet had the same salads in much the same positions every evening, with very little variety over the 7 days. The hot food did not look appetising, there was nothing roasted or grilled except burgers one evening. And the whole buffet section is cramped and confined to a narrow area, which created queues and bottlenecks. The soup recepticle was next to the cheese and biscuits and puddings. Such a shame for a lovely hotel.

Good hotel, in a good location.

8.0

We spent 7 nights here and a further 4 nights after our flight was cancelled. So we had two rooms overall. Somethings were very good. Our room was large and spacious and the full sea view was lovely to have. The side sea view was over the street entrance area and not so good. The beds in both rooms were very uncomfortable and when asked, I reported this and the mattresses were greatly improved with support and mattress toppers added. This was a huge improvement. A leak in the bathroom tap which threatened to flood the floor was fixed late afternoon at the weekend. We were impressed. Pool towels, robes and slippers were provided as were a kettle, cups and minibar. Wifi good. We used the swimming pools every day. Breakfast was good, but the coffee far too strong. The only good coffee was in the bar. The evening meals are generally good although it can be busy and the waiter service is very brisk - hang onto your plate or it will disappear in seconds! The Italian restaurant in the hotel was good and much quieter than the main restaurant. You have to book at a machine in reception. We were unable to book the others as they are in demand. Reception very helpful and will arrange trips if you want them. A good location, with regular buses to the town centre and also near The Forum shopping centre. Overall a pleasant stay

Very dissatisfied

4.0

Having just returned from this hotel I want to say how disappointed we were with this hotel. We opted for half board but the buffet restaurant was no way up to 5* standard, we found ourselves having salads nearly every day as the hot food was very unappetising. They list à la carte restaurant but there is only one open each night with a very limited number of covers. The Italian was very nice but only open 3 nights, the restaurant serving skewered meat or fish was a set menu with the only choice being a meat skewer or tuna skewer, the rest of the meal was a set menu. This was open for 2 nights and if you ate there for the 2nights it was the same set menu, there was then 2 nights of Tagine which has limited appeal. There was an a la carte restaurant at another in the groups of hotels but that was at least 30 min.walk or à taxi ride away. Because of the limited option of a small restaurant open each night the main buffet was very crowded, noisy and the seating was very close together not a relaxed eating environment at all. The breakfasts were better with lovely fresh bread and rolls available every day, and a good selection of fruit, cheese and preserves but for those wanting eggs and bacon my husband didn’t find the bacon until the third morning when he realised he had to ask for bacon but even that wasn’t proper bacon it was reconstituted bits of bacon, not proper rashers. This was meant to be a special week celebrating an 80th birthday but I am sorry to say proved to be a disaster. Needless to say we will not be returning, we will be returning to another hotel where we have previously stayed and enjoyed a lovely break served by friendly, helpful staff in a calm atmosphere

Cool

10.0

Cool place, loved the hotel and the staff